1. |
Shifting Seasons
12:04
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Seasons change as well as the stages of sickness
The hope I once had
Now melts like Spring plotting against the Winter snowman
The tumors spread too quickly
And I once sported a smile
With twinkling eyes like a child in the toy store
Now degraded into a blank stare
I don't think watering the wilted petals will do much
Just as the lullaby refuses to soothe the insomniac
There's nothing you can do for me
So please just leave me be
At this point I've forgotten how to feel
Like the Autumn leaves that forgot how to retain green.
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2. |
Exit Stage 4
11:14
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It's nearing November
Wind tousled leaves litter the streets
in shades of orange,
like the setting of the sun
Soon enough she won't see another season
Or experience another beautiful evening
Such as this one, where clouds obscure a fading sun
Fading, as she would
Passing away, as if fading echoes in a cave
Things won't be the same
And it's hard to understand why things happen the way they do
But I guess there will always be a sickness
A malignant tumor
It makes me question why I do anything
Because in the end, it's just that
There's nothing
and I can't control the end
But the least I can do is go on for now
and hold on to this gift for as long as I can.
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3. |
Déjà Vu and Exhaustion
09:39
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Each day is pretty much the same
Regardless of what happens it just feels like déjà vu
I feel so exhausted
There isn't even really a point in doing anything differently
Because eventually it'll all be gone
I can't be bothered with goals anymore
As beautiful as the sunset glistening in the ocean is
I don't think I'll miss it
There are too many hours in a day
and too many days in a lifetime.
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4. |
Fragrance of the Rain
10:00
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The rain's fragrance brings back memories
and the sound is soothing
It's hard to focus on getting anything done
Knowing things would be over just as a daily chore
I'm back to writing memos
Trying to collect my thoughts and reasons to keep going...
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5. |
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I can't let this consume me
But it's hard to see you so emaciated
Memories flood my mind
and I find myself framing countless pictures
On a day like this where the butterflies flutter by the bush in front of the apartment
You would water the orchids
Now wilted over in ceramic pots
You won't be like the orchids, I promise
We can make it through this
But in the back of my mind I wonder if it's just an empty promise
It can't be, or at least I can try to convince myself the best I can
I can't be stagnant in negativity any longer
It hasn't gotten me anywhere
At a time like this I've only learned to be more positive
Or at least pretend to be
I don't want to believe it's over.
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